A Letter from Jerusalem Management Consultants, Inc.
#12 Tribes Avenue
Jerusalem, Judaea 12120
Mr. Yeshua Josephson
Woodcrafters House of Fine Carpentry
777 Cross Street
Nazareth, Galilee 31240
Thank you for submitting the curricula vitae of the twelve gentlemen you have chosen for managerial positions in your new organization. All of them were subjected to our rigorous battery of tests. In addition to these written test results, we have based our recommendations to you on our professional opinion formed through extensive interviews by our team of psychologists and vocational consultants.
We have determined that most of your nominees have neither the team concept that you require, nor the proper background, education, and/or vocational aptitude. Therefore we recommend that you continue your search for personnel with managerial experience and ability for the type of enterprise you are undertaking.
Mr. Simon Johnson is exceptionally unstable and prone to fits of temper. His brother Andrew has absolutely no qualities necessary to anyone in a leadership position. James and John Thunderson – also brothers – place their personal interests above company loyalty. In addition, along with the Johnson brothers, they also would be subject to any nepotism clause you may wish to invoke at some later date. It is doubtful you would find Mr. Thomas Didymus of any use to your organization because he demonstrates a questionable attitude that would tend to undermine employee morale. Also, a background check on Matthew Levi revealed that he has been blacklisted by the Greater Jerusalem Better Business Bureau. Thaddeus Lebbos and James Lesser have definite radical tendencies, and they both register high on the manic-depressive scale.
One of your candidates, however, shows enormous potential. He is a man of ability and resourcefulness, is well-met, and as well as having a keen business mind, he has excellent social and business connections which could prove to be beneficial to you in your endeavor. He is educated, highly motivated, ambitious and responsible. We therefore recommend Mr. Judas Iscariot as your comptroller and Executive Vice President. The profiles of your remaining candidates are attached and are self-explanatory.
We were delighted to be of service to you in our consultatory capacity. Please feel free to contact us again if and when you have need of our services. We wish you every success in your new venture.
Jacob Israel PhariseePresident and C.E.O.
Contrary to advice, addressee ignored this advice, and recruited all twelve of his original nominees. With his continued leadership and guidance, they all, of the right stuff, had enough. . .